hardballing

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What is hardballing in dating? Is it a positive change?

hardballing
  • What exactly is hardballing?
  • Hardballing is on the rise. 
  • What is the Pendulum Effect?
  • What do other experts think?

Since personal social contact was restricted during the coronavirus pandemic, the usage of dating apps has increased. Though these apps assisted many people in finding their soulmates, they also caused significant problems for others.

People were ghosted, posted, submarined, or orbited, causing annoyance and mental problems.

All of these new dating buzzwords seem ridiculous. But that is the reality of today’s internet-connected age.

In most cases, millennials and generation Z youth do not express their intentions in a relationship.

But when they do, it’s known as hard balling (a new dating term).

hardballing
hardballing app source: Women’s Health

What exactly is hardballing?

When you hardball, you state your objectives before the relationship begins.

Logan Dry, Hinge’s director of relationship science, says:

“Hardballing is a new dating phrase that signifies someone is upfront about their relationship goals,

whether they want a serious long-term relationship or a short fling.”

It’s also known as “dating like a CEO.”

That is, you are the one who decides what you want in a relationship.

It is dating with a certain goal in mind.

Hardballing is on the rise.

The “Charisma Quotient” podcast is hosted by Kimmy Seltzer, a dating consultant headquartered in Los Angeles.

She admits that she has noticed an increase in this attitude among her clientele.

The person is dedicated, but only for the reason that he or she desires in a relationship. Kimmy claims:

“I refer to it as the ‘pendulum effect.’

We were noticing a lot of transactional dating tendencies,

such as bread-crumbing and ghosting, but a trend can become excessive.”

What is the Pendulum Effect?

There is a pendulum effect in dating.

People in the past were unwilling to commit.

They did not want to make their goals are known, which resulted in issues.

However, an increasing number of young people are expressing their expectations or desires in a relationship.

According to Kimmy, the pendulum has swung in the other direction toon, notably no-nonsense, no surprises, and straightforward dating.

Dating now requires discretion and keeping one’s eye on the prize. She continued, saying:

“People are looking for and demanding more security, especially in the midst of the pandemic’s uncertainty.”

So, in essence, I believe hardballing is a method of recalibrating what singles had been accustomed to: the ghosting period.”

Dating has become more serious.

Danielle Kepler, a therapist in Chicago, believes that the pandemic has impacted people and pushed them towards this type of conduct. In his own words:

“The pandemic has taught us all that life is short, and if you know what you want in a companion,

why not state it out loud so you can move on if the other person isn’t on your ‘no compromise list?'”

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What do other experts think?

Julia Bekker is a relationship coach as well as a matchmaker. Julia states:

“I certainly believe that COVID highlighted what it’s like to be truly alone while removing all of the distractions of dating.”

When all options and sociability with friends are taken from the picture,

people are forced to really sit with themselves and begin to value connection more, resulting in a stronger need for love and friendship.”

People are also opting for gradual dating.

It’s either for health concerns or because they’re looking for a steady relationship right now.

According to a survey conducted by Match.com last year, 63% of people desire more time than ever before to think about potential dates.

69% believe they have become more honest and are less concerned about their physical appearance.